you know the devils got my son.
i was crying in my car in front of the mcdonalds near my house eating french fries and listening to my sad playlist in the car and a black guy tapped on my window and just gave me life changing advice “its going to be ok lil nigga you can do it”
i love this post every time
i needed this
Marya Hornbacher (via drunkonatuesday)
Everyone needs to understand this. (Also, this was actually written by Carrie Arnold, not Hornbacher)
(via killmyblues)
WAIT HOLD THE FUCK UP
IS ‘MRS’ JUST MR’S
LIKE BELONGING TO MR
OMG
Mr comes from the French monsieur, which I think literally translates as ‘my lord’ and basically just means master, and Mrs comes from maistre which is the feminine form of master, so actually—for once—no.
This was an extremely relevant comment and I thank you for educating me
(via rockabillyxmomma)
how many “friend-zoned” guys does it take to change a light bulb? None they’ll just compliment it and get pissed when it won’t screw.
this is the best joke ever
(Source: amoracomplex, via rockabillyxmomma)
I mean, look at it!
It’s open and wet and warm and has sucking capabilities.
MUCH better than the crevice between two titties.
You can essentially fuck a chick’s fat rolls and thats the same feeling as titty fucking her.
I won’t speak on handjobs since I am no longer a fucking middle school pre-teen.
You can titty fuck and get the mouth simultaneously tho
Lemme explain why that’s fundamentally flawed.
If you wanna titty fuck a chick, most likely you want her to have big tits.
The bigger the tits, the harder it is for her to lean up for the suck no matter the size of ya pipe.
PLUS, if she got ya dick in her mouth, WHAT’S THE FUCKING POINT OF TITTY FUCKING HER?
Nah fam, the smaller the bazoingas, the harder it is to fit them both around your hoo-ha.
Bazoingas feel nice, tho. Not the highest on the “good gasmanga” list, but still enjoyable.
quixon, my dear boy, you shouldnt rule everything out in sex.
titty fucking is fun.
handjobs are fun.
sex should be spontaneous.
ive lost ten pounds since february. which totals my weight loss at 26 lbs.
so why do you still buy me large shirts? why do you act like im eating too much? why do you use the words “bulky” and “big girl”
im 126. im a mother. im a woman. im healthy and im crying because i feel really fucking ugly.
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(via ultimate-defense)
